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Pirates of the…Ara-bian?
Yeah, it really doesn’t have the same ring to it. The other day as I continued to let the thousands of thoughts race through my head, an inane and interesting one popped up. How does one become a Somali pirate? I asked one of my friends what he thought. “Complete and utter poverty?”
Since I grew up in the time when pirate culture sells everything from movies to thongs (I’m assuming), I had hoped for something a little more whimsical.
Continuing the family business, laid off from your job as an IT guy, taking whatever you can after graduation, that kind of stuff. I imagine that the conversations at my graduation party would’ve gone a little something like this:
Someone I barely know that my mom invited: So Sarah, now that you’ve graduated, what are you going to do?
Sarah: Well, I threw around the idea of applying for a government job in Chicago but I think I’ve finally decided on something a little more lucrative.
SIBKTMMI: That sounds just great, Sarah. We’re all just so proud of you. What is it exactly?
Sarah: I’m going to send my resume to the Somali pirates.
SIBKTMMI: *Polite yet awkward laughter* That’s so funny! You always were a comedian…
Sarah: Yeah, that’s my post-graduate, post-summer plan. I figured, why not. The economy sucks, I didn’t apply for grad school, my references are pretty good. So yeah, thanks for the money, it’ll really help out on buying my ticket to Mogadishu. You know, greasin’ palms and what not. Maybe if I have a little left over, I can put a down payment on my first AK-47. That’d really make Mom and Dad proud. Maybe I’ll finally learn how to tie some of those fancy knots too! The possibilities are basically endless from this point on.
SIBKTMMI: *Awkwardly talks several steps away from me and runs for the door*
I guess I realized that I don’t have it so bad after all. I don’t have many prospects for a full-time asshole position but maybe I should stop taking for granted that I can get a post-graduate job at all.
